Tuesday, November 27, 2012

a step in the right direction

The Fluff: Back to reality after a busy busy holiday weekend. It was nothing short of a fantastic  family-filled frenzy and it was so much fun! Sometimes I really enjoy the chaos, even if it does put me to bed by 9am. 

Thursday we spent the day with both my in-laws and my dad's side of the family (separately). It was a long day but the food was great and the company even better. I did go out shopping Thursday to take advantage of a few deals for the little man, but then hit the hay because I had to work on Friday. The company I work for was on a half day, but I took some voluntary overtime. What can I say, gotta make that cheddar! We had another Thanksgiving on Saturday, and then Sunday we decorated our tree and windows for Christmas. Dawson is so in love with the lights! He thinks the tree is something special that I made for him, and for now I am going to let him! haha. 

Snuggling under the tree. 
The business: Over the weekend, I did something bold. Something I have considered doing for quite some time, but never really had the resource or knowledge base to get started on. I hired a nutrition specialist. 

Last week I was catching up on some blogs, and came across this post, at Keeping Up with Katie. I found her sister's story both similar and incredibly motivating, I had been in those shoes, I had felt those feelings. I got it, I got her. I decided to follow in her footsteps and check out her nutritionist on FB. 

There was even more client photos, food photos and information available on both the FB page and the website for Thinning Down Chicks. I decided to send the nutritionist (Andrea) an email, all the while just knowing in the back of my head it would be too expensive for me. It wasn't. 

Thankfully, the company I work for has a few perks, one of them being holiday gift cards every year. Each year associates are given a gift card based on their tenure to spend at their leisure. This year, I spent mine on me. (well, I actually do that every year, but you get what I mean).

Andrea requests that interested clients complete a pretty extensive questionnaire and be very honest about their food habits, choices and routines. She asks EVERYTHING. From there she makes an assessment and decides whether or not she thinks she can work with you, and the two of you tackle a plan of action for YOU. It is all personal and set up specific to the information you have sent her. She has varying degrees of her program and each one has its own price. 

I have hired Andrea to be my thinker. She plans and tracks my meals, sends me shopping guides, recipes and meal plans and basically takes the whole planning process out for me, while also teaching me even more about food, and what it means to fuel your body. 

Do I know a lot of this info, yes. Could I make a plan? Yes. Do I? No. 

I will also say, that Andrea demands some very honest, and very deep questions about each client. She makes you think pretty deep in your conscious and answer things you really don't want to answer. She forces you to look at yourself, your failures and your choices and deal with them head on.

I have already spent HOURS texting, emailing and working though the best plan for me and my whole family with Andrea, and I already feel her full support and genuine personality and how much she wants her clients to succeed. 

The best part, is this is the first time I can honestly say that I feel like my husband is 100% supportive and behind me on this program. and like I said, I have tried them all. The plans are livable and include real food and real recipes that even my boys will be able to eat and prepare. I am so-freakin-excited. 

*Andrea has no idea that I blog here or that I am writing about my experience. These opinions and views are my own and I have not been compensated for them. I just am really loving taking this step (so far) and want to share.*


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Thanksgiving Linkup- My first vlog!


Hey all! I am so excited today to bring you my very first Vlog! I'm hooking  linking up with Holly and Erin and talking about all things Turkey! Check it out, and enjoy :)

1. What do you look forward to more: the food, football or parades?
2. What is your favorite non-traditional Thanksgiving Day dish?
3. After dinner, is it football or a nap?
4. Do you watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? Which is your favorite float?
5. Where do you go to celebrate and eat your big meal? Who is there (family, friends)?
6. What is your favorite turkey day dessert?

Monday, November 19, 2012

Body by B. Body by Me.

I have been sitting here for a solid 15 minutes. Staring at the blinking cursor. Reading other blogs for courage. Trying to decide what to type, what to say, what to write. How I feel about what I need to write.

I feel sad. mad. worried. upset. pissed off. gross. defeated.

such a fake smile

On my last post, I weighed in at 190lbs and was still on program with weight watchers. It was March 2011. From that point on, for one summer, I rocked it. I continued on and was able to lose another 15lbs with ww, making my lowest weight in Lord only knows how long 175. I felt so good at that 175. Motivated, confident and ready to just keep pushing.




In August of that year, I had reached my goal "date". My family had an event I had been working towards all along, and while I didn't reach my goal, I still felt better. good even.

Somewhere after that point, and I don't even know if I can really say when, I checked out. Gave up. Quit.

I quit tracking, quit caring, quit watching my portions. I still went and weighed in, but I look forward to the people more than the scale.

I have since gained back all but 10 lbs that I originally lost. I have to completely start over, save 10 lbs. I have gained back 28lbs in 14 months.

And I HATE it. WHY did I do this again. I know how hard it is. I tracked, ran, sweated and blogged my heart out about how much I hated losing and working towards those 30lbs the FIRST time, and now I have to do it again.

I cant quite put into words the disappointment and frustration I feel with myself right now. Honestly, I don't even really have a plan on how to change it just yet. I do know, that it cannot be ww. I have worked that program, inefficiently to the moon and back. It no longer motivates or encourages me, even though I really do love it. I just don't "care" about it anymore. Getting on the scale and gaining is not motivating or disappointing to me anymore, its really just a time waster before I get to go say hi to my friends.

I need a change. I need motivation. And I need it to come from within.


I'm ready. again.

(I realize this is a very debbie downer post, but it feels so good to talk about the way I feel right now. to say what I did. to get it off my chest and out there. please bear with me, once I get it out there, I can move forward.)

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Good things come at 3.

Today is World Prematurity day. Every single day, too many babies are born to soon, and get a start like ours. Won't you consider joining the cause and fighting for babies?


Since he is my muse, and since I have been coming back here a lot in more recent days to see where it all began, I thought it was fitting if I wrote a post on dawson.
 dawson is 3.5 and i really have no idea where the time went. it seems as if he has been a part of our lives, our day-to-day forever, and yet it seems were were just holding him for the first time yesterday. our wee little thing is growing so big!
 

he is doing really awesome, going to pre-school (on a school bus, which is one of his most favorite things ever) and still working with a few therapists to get caught up. he goes to a pre-school classroom that is actually in our district elementary school and specializes in kids with special needs. he is the only VI kid in the class, but seems to be adjusting well. we had conferences last week and his only areas in where he is behind are things related to vision. (tracing, matching etc etc) he is counting well and knows his colors and his language is very advanced for his age (ironic that 9 months ago he wasn't even talking!) 

medically he is doing so well, things have improved so much from where we have been in autumns past. he seems to have abandoned the days of endless ear-infections and runny noses. he loves to bundle up and go outside in his pom pom hat, and going at what feels like 100mph.

 
his eyes and vision have remained the same and we are really just in a hurry up and wait period. we are still going for consistent check up but for now we just make sure there are no changes, and that we really utilize the vision that he has. he sees a visual specialist at school twice a week, and wears glasses for as much time as we can possibly get him too. they work on braille and puzzles and using all of his other senses to supplement what his eyes cannot see.

this boy loves his mickey to the moon and back, and all things automobile.trains and buses are his favorites. we are still not potty trained, but we are not freaking out about it. it seems that dawson just doesn't really care and is holding on to all control he can, so we are just taking it day by day. like all things with d, we will get there.

he is my tall skinny string bean, and for the most part seems to be pretty caught up to other 3 year olds. a little petite, but not surprising since his dad and uncles are all skinny things too. he has the memory of an elephant and the hearing of a coon dog. don't ever say anything, anywhere, about anything, because he will repeat it.

this age really has to be my favorite. he is so full of love and life, so curious and inquisitive. i feel like he is learning something new every day, and he just loves to learn. everywhere he goes he is kind and outgoing and loves to make people laugh. i love everything about his spirit, and my only hope is that he keeps that spirit and the i am given the strength and knowledge to light that spirit bright.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Confessions: I am a quitter

I am one of those people that you have always read about, heard about, known about, and hate talking to. Constantly on the verge of some great new plan, idea and train of thought, all excited in the mix, hands waving and fired up about how I just know, this plan is going to change my life.

Except, I am a quitter.

Other than my relationship with my family and my present employer, I have quit every single thing I have ever started (and shoot, I've even quit some of my family.) Weight loss plans, financial-planning-plans, jobs, exercise, blogging,  you name it, i've started it, bragged about it and quit it. When the going gets un-exciting, or hard,  I give up.

Because I am a quitter.

Blogger.
3 different photo-a-day challenges.
Giving up pop.
Weight Watchers. (although I am trying. Except I have quit tracking.)
Tracking.
My Fitness Pal.
Running.
Mint.com Budgeting.
Dave Ramsey.
Body Challenges.
Insanity.
P90x.
Turbo Fire.
30 Day Shred.
1. 2. 4 gyms.

Problem is, I don't ever see it coming or realize Im making the conscious decision to quit. I just start putting things off until tomorrow, or this weekend, or next week. At one point I have to just quit quitting. Seems like being a quitter, quitting should be easy?

In theory  I would like to be one of those people that is always thinking of something fun to do with their kids,  runs on the regular, balances their checkbook and has a savings, has a clean house, a great co-worker and associate, and just someone who has figured out how to grow the heck up and find some balance without it all crashing down on my head and being the person who is always.forgetting.SOMETHING. I know in my head that life isnt perfect and sometimes there are still dishes in the sink and clothes to be put away, bills to mail and a workout to do, but sometimes I would just love to be one of those people.

At what point does being a grown up suck a little bit less, and being responsible becoming a little bit more rewarding? Does it ever? Or do you just learn that in time, you have to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and pick your hard?

In all honesty, I didn't know how to come back and write a post here, after so much time. But I miss my writing, I miss my accountability and that conglomeration of bloggers and people. I miss being out here and I know that the writing is good for my soul, even if it is just rambling. Im going to try. Try to quit giving up. Try to get it together. Just try.

But I do know, that I have to figure out something, because he is worth it.


While this post was not all about weight loss, I found this fitting. You can really choose so many other things to substitute in .


Hello again, friends.