So it is CD 28 and I have gotten 2 BFNs this week. I know that it is impossible to know if I am late…or to early to test ya ya ya (see post below…I didn’t chart this month…stoopid me) but this cycle has been the hardest since we have started our TTC journey. Since we decided to go off BCP we have always had the cruise to look forward to, so we were not to bent outta shape when it wasn’t happening. (And actually..we had a blast. I'm sure we would have even if I had been KTFU…we just had a different..more reckless kinda fun) But now, this is ALL we want. When we first started trying all I could think about was being pregnant, and because I am stubborn as all get out, I was SURE it was not going to take us long AT ALL. I was envisioning having a belly at Christmas, making Christmas lists (our families are SO anal about lists. Seriously we start ours at Halloween) and surprising family members with our news around the Holidays. I know it isn’t over yet, and with my cycles, IF it works next cycles I will be 6 weeks at Christmas, which could be just as fun. So now, as I'm perfecting our lists and making plans for holiday dinners all I can think of is realizing it really is going to be this hard for us. And it is just crushing me. DH is starting to get frustrated as well, its dis-heartening.
AND…I am so sick of people telling us it isn’t happening because we THINK about it to much. SERIOUSLY?! No, it’s not happening because one month I ovulate on CD 11 and the next CD 21. How do you plan for that? So here we go with cycle 7. Lucky # 7…except 6 is my lucky number. BAH! I am planning on starting with OPKs this month. As well as switching from the generic to the real pre-seed. Let’s see where we end up.
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